All the Little People

Oh great Creator, master of space and time
The only being capable of such power
Thy Lord, I call upon You with this simple rhyme
Ruler of worlds, hear me, our almighty Master

We humans are weak, and we humans are sorry
For what we've brought unto this world You've given us
We humans now understand, we humans now see
So we beg you forgiveness, please stop this chaos

We've endured much pain, we already know our place
Give our people willpower and strength to survive
I no more want to see frowns on anyone's face
Give the worthy men what they need to stay alive

And for the ones who left us, bring peace to their souls
Allow them to enter heaven, Your sanctuary
The ones who lost many, let their tears no more fall
The ones unaffected, keep them safe and merry

I also thank You for the luck you've given me
For having my family safe, no damage dealt
For leaving me unharmed, for keeping me wary
That is all, keep us safe, let the sky no more pelt

English-EngEng

ORIGINAL TEXT:

POLISHED TEXT:
(Unnecessary  sentences were cut off and/or replaced)


October 1996
To Marije,

I am not surprised why Dennis left you. What reason can you think of other than your fat body. First I thought that Dennis was only toying with me, later, I realized that he really can't bear being with you. Dennis said he could not stand your habit of meddling with all his trips and phoning them, asking nonstop.

He said that you are a shame to him, either when he's at school or when he's with his family. Dennis is also asking you to cut off that thick fat of yours. Yet you think you're the prettiest girl he knows. Who do you think you are, Jose Marie Chan's "Beautiful Girl"?
Even though you "think" you're beautiful, you have no right to call me names, whether or not Dennis' back is turned. But if you do call me by such names, I'll have no other choice but to return the favor. For example, a FAT, OVERWEIGHT, OBESE, AND POORLY-SHAPED PIG. It's a shame that your body's too BULGY.

You can't blame Dennis for choosing me over you, I have the sexier body compared to you. I repeat, you look just like a gender swapped Lozada.

Love,
The sexiest Girl of D.M.

P.S.
You say that I have bad breath, but who did Dennis want to kiss again? Me. There you go.


COMMENT:

Words cannot describe how poor the English was, it was literally 'painful' to read the original text. I don't even know how I should react to it, should I laugh or cry at the idiocy? I'm not sure if it was just a prank to mess up with the reader's mind, or ignorance in it's purest form. It was mostly annoying, knowing that even people in the past had the arrogance to make such a mess really pisses me off. Normally, I'd quit on reading things like these from the start and leave a funny comment, but I needed to read it until the end, for heaven's sake, it's like arguing with retards on the internet, they'll keep on replying with nonsense, proving themselves correct even though they're clearly and evidently wrong.

Anyways, awesome challenge. It made us feel superior when it comes to conversing in English at the same time, testing our English skills.

Finally

After years of schooling, we now have a teacher who uses the internet for project storage. A pretty convenient strategy indeed and may as well be the best around. "Why?", you ask, well I'll give you a question first, where can you see most of the kids today being all social and active? The internet. So why not use it for things other than games and social media, like schoolwork.

First of all, I support this strategy mainly because it's a legitimate answer to the "I'm too bored to do my assignment" problem, we are always online, we have no reason not to do it. Second, the internet is the perfect viewing/storage room, unlike when it's on paper, it won't end up being part of massive trash pile, you won't lose it anytime soon. Third, I love how the internet has improved people's grammar far more than any English teacher has. If you write "your" instead of "you're" in English class, all you get is a red mark. Mess up on the internet and may God have mercy on your soul. Lastly, seeing your page's views skyrocket helps you develop a good self-esteem, seeing that you have followers is even better.

See how much advantage we can get from using the internet? It may have some downsides but it's definitely better in comparison to the old traditional style. I hope this is enough to keep this style of doing our informal theme.